Raising Youngins

Working moms…

the ones packing lunches at 6 a.m.…

Answering emails in the pickup line…

Switching from professional to mom mode in five minutes flat…

And quietly wondering… “Am I doing enough in either place?”

I live in this tension like many of you. I’m at work and I feel guilty that I’m not with my kids. I’m at home and have a million of things to finish at work. It’s like my heart is always split. Social media is a killer for moms (and I think women in general). I see the stay-at-home moms volunteering at school. I see career women climbing fast.

And… often I feel stuck in the middle. Never fully present. Never fully finished. Always carrying something. And sometimes the guilt is loud.

Working mom guilt is sneaky. It says:

“They need you more.”

“You’re missing moments.”

“You should slow down.”

“You should do more.”

But I also believe:

Providing is loving.

Using your gifts is loving.

Modeling work ethic is loving.

And exhaustion doesn’t mean I chose wrong. It means I’m carrying a lot.

Working in motherhood doesn’t have to be second-tier motherhood, or lesser, selfish. It’s layered and complex and that doesn’t mean you’re failing. We are allowed to use our gifts, contribute financially and build something outside our homes – and still deeply love our families.

A Proverbs 31 woman: considers a field and buys it, works with willing hands, and provides for her household. She isn’t confined to one lane. She was faithful in multiple roles. And God doesn’t measure your motherhood by hours logged. Your salvation has nothing to do with giving birth, getting a promotion or making enough money. Your salvation is Christ’s work on the cross for YOU. He measures the faithfulness of your heart.

My kids are also not counting minutes. They’re absorbing my tone, my security, my consistency and my intentional connection. I don’t have to be everywhere to be impactful. Here’s my “reentry ritual” upon arriving home, usually with 2-3 kids filing out of the car with me: I love to get out of my jeans and bra (!!), remove jewelry and makeup and shift into a play mindset. I usually supervise the kids and hold the toddler while trying to quickly decompress my day with my hubby while he makes dinner. Yes – he’s our chef. I married reeeeaaal good.

Second, very much still in process and quite hard with such a clingy toddler, but I hug and kiss each person, ask them how their day was and spend a few minutes with one child. I hope to fill their tank faster for the evening ahead. At dinner, we usually ask character growth questions similar to: Did you do something kind for someone today? Do you need to apologize to anyone? What did someone do nice for you? What was the craziest thing you saw?

Lastly, I must, I mean must, release comparison. My home doesn’t need to look like a full-time homemaker’s home and by goly it never needs to look like we live here without kids! Different seasons. Different capacities. I’ve been playing puzzle games on my phone or reading a physical handheld book at night so I’m not scrolling on my phone. Great part about this is I’m not seeing ads on Instagram and clicking “add to cart” (sheesh that “save for later” list is getting loooong), however I did stay up until midnight last night because I could not put down a great book. (The Fifth Avenue Story Society – check it out!)

If you feel pulled in two directions, if you’ve questioned whether you’re enough in either space… you are not divided. You are devoted. And your kids don’t need a perfect schedule. They need a steady mom.

Take a deep breath mama – you’re doing better than you think.