Raising Youngins

May 2022

I recently classified myself as an angry mom. It’s a convicting game changer when you realize you really do turn into a psycho when your kids trigger you. I will admit the “why did I even have kids” phrase has gone through my mind when I think my son will literally never stop crying or my daughter will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever obey me. Little dramatic? Yeah, so is she.

Then I remember God gave me these kids, they are His… and I am so thankful. These sweet babies that I dreamed about raising for years. These little faces look to ME as their haven, their safe place. When Saralee, my 3 year old, is having an absolute tantrum about something that could have been so easy the first time I asked and now she’s in time out after the 4th ask, I often reminisce on how God looks at my life and my actions towards my kids. My attitude shifts. I try to understand and be more patient, more aware of how to guide her in handling those big feelings when she doesn’t get what she thinks she wants. What have I thrown a fit about that God knows I would have been better off if I followed Him the first time he ask. When has he been patient with me when I didn’t deserve it? Or when was he trying to guide me and I thought my way was better?

Back to being an angry mom… I’m tired. All the decisions, chores and just all the things we have to think about during the day is overwhelming. My kids sleep great and I take melatonin every night, but there’s more to it. The ups, downs, celebrations (like pooping in the potty, duh) and challenges and oh yeah I have a full time job has me all sorts of exhausted lately. But I must remember I am a daughter of the King; I am blessed. I must see the blessings in every day life. God didn’t intend for us to suffer through motherhood, no matter what phase, without Him. I can’t imagine being a wife, mom or friend without God’s grace and love for me.

Here’s why I’m tired, but here’s why I’m also thankful:

I’m tired because I made a healthy lunch for my kid that he just threw on the ground. He’ll live off veggie straws any way. I’m thankful I can purchase food for my children – even if it’s on the ground.

I’m tired because I just put my daughter’s socks and shoes on before we left the house and we arrive at daycare and she took them off “because I did.” I’m thankful that she has two feet and ten toes to put those socks and shoes on… and a big smile she flashes because she knows she’s cute.

I’m tired because after continuing to try and stop my son from gagging himself in the car, he finally throws up all over his car seat. I’m thankful for the hysterical laugh that followed. It made every one in the car laugh too.

I’m tired because my daughter has been potty trained for months but demands help pulling down her pants and panties and being lifted on the potty (yes, we have a stool). I’m thankful potty training was a breeze with her.

I’m tired because I did the two ponytails, with a scrunchie then added a braid with a clip, but apparently it wasn’t actually what she wanted (yes it was!), so she rips it out on the way to school. I’m thankful I have money to buy my daughter cute things to put in her hair. I’m thankful my daughter has beautiful long hair.

I’m tired because the little one is crying, the husband is cooking up some awesome dinner and the toddler is yelling that she wants food now and doesn’t want to be hungry forever. I’m thankful I have a husband who cooks, v well! I’m thankful we have dinner at the table every night, together.

I’m tired because the second covid exposure at school has left me balancing a full time job and dropping off one kid and keeping one at home AND still paying for both kids to go to school. I’m thankful I have a great employer who doesn’t make me take PTO when I need to stay home with my kids.

I’m tired because I stayed up a little extra eating a bowl of cereal and watching a movie with my husband. I’m thankful that my husband wants to spend time with me.

I’m tired because my husband is doing yard work and I’m inside taking care of the kids by myself. I’m thankful I have a husband who cares about the outside (and inside) of our home.

I’m tired because I dress three humans in the house. I can’t wait for the day someone can dress themselves. I’m thankful I have sweet little bodies to love and kiss and hug and snuggle with.

If you are not finding the blessings in every day life, bitterness and resentment enters your heart. Satan will quickly take over if you let him. Here’s why I posted the kitchen sink picture at the top: when I walked over to all those dishes in my sink after an already long morning, I was angry. But I knew I needed to have a heart check before I left that sink. I have a blessed life. Great husband who loves the Lord, beautiful healthy kids, a wonderful job, roof over my head and an amazing church. I prayed through emptying the dishwasher and thanked God that He made me in this moment. I am His. I prayed through reloading the dishwasher that even though I have moments when I am angry at my situation or toddlers who don’t obey or babies who don’t stop crying, He is my strength. I prayed as I stacked up the dishes that couldn’t even fit in the dishwasher (they’ll hit the next load, I ain’t washing them!) that there’s always grace. Raising confident, caring, Christlike kids is HARD, but God gives grace and boy am I thankful for that!

You got this Mama! God loves you. He sees you. He is for YOU!